How I Feel

My mental illness is acute. It is better that I stay off the Internet because I feel uncomfortable.

Comment; March 18th, 2018.

Control Arm Car Repair

I haven’t written to this blog in a while, but I want to share the following idea. This applies to someone with a lot of money and a problem with a friend which needs attention.

Purchase under agreement from the automotive repair company prepaid repair work for your friend’s vehicle.

This is the control arm car repair directive.

Portrait Of A Dog

It is time to let go of things a little. I’m going to produce for you the dog’s thoughts on mental illness. What the reader is supposed to do is choose one of the following two thoughts they think is best for a smart dog.

Some people think there is no such thing as mental illness; they just need to be disciplined.
I think it would be better to help them.

In this example, it is a dog to make those mentally ill people like me comfortable.

Pompejanischer Mural

If you want to understand the two kinds of Genetically handicapped people, study this picture. I feel that this picture would be understandable to a serious Staff person. To open, “The AB’s marry.” This is Art that expresses the difference between the two kinds of mental illnesses: the Schizo-affective mental illness and Schizophrenia.. The Wikipedia picture is at: Pompejanischer.

Genetically handicapped
Email: GHPPEligibility@dhcs.ca.gov
https://www.dhcs.ca.gov/services/ghpp/Pages/default.aspx
Genetically Handicapped Persons Program
MS 4507, P.O. Box 997413
Sacramento, CA 95899-7413

Cognitive Deficits

I started out with a list of the dimensions of unequal distributions of cognitive abilities. I am encountering situations where I’m unable to communicate with another person effectively. I expect another person to develop an idea from a possibility; cognitive thinking. If the other person is working correctly they should have a capacity to reason in which they recognize facts or identify a subject. I have resorted to SORRY as a means to level the ground with the hope that the person could get the idea.

One possible tool to fixing the unequal cognitive distribution is the Federalist Paper’s #10, referred to in an earlier post; liberty, protection of property and balancing are taken up as goals for reconciling faction. Recently, I have been learning on YouTube about Fascism. Fascism is exactly why I am having the problem outline above. I can’t get satisfaction socially, one on one, because Fascism doesn’t support that. Fascism is the current political climate.

Comment: January 7, 2017; My very first writing about Spinoza is at the Gevluef post called Cognitive Thinking. I promise to call on Spinoza when there are cognitive deficits.

Getting Over Tim Yates

I’ve been reflecting on my recent history, the years from 2011 till 2015; and, I want to share my insight about why I had so much trouble. As of today, I have thinned out my Will in which I have gotten rid of the smoking guns that have caused problems for me. Since when though has matters of the Will been so dramatic that subtraction would relieve me of any further problems? And so, I have to resolve that my mental illness which was compounded by the association with Tim Yates, also mentally ill, has been the main fault. These problems are a manifestation of the situation. Again, I have experienced the pathology of the complex association with Tim.

One example, the most prominent is my having a xiphoid. Just that alone is cause for problems; see the Stone Roses. From there I have taken on a disparity of his issues making my association with Tim much more dependent. He had a chemical imbalance from Leila. He had Schizophrenia because of Chrissy. And, all of this about Tim exacerbated my experience and the experience of those I affected.

Just to say that Tim compounded my mental illness is insightful, but to realize that my problems were an expression of our relationship relieves me of the guilt I feel about the terrible things that have happened in the years preceding his death.

I am doing much better. The circumstances have changed a lot. One major difference I am able to notice is that people are more accepting of me. So, I am getting along better. I am not having problems any more. I am so thankful all I have to deal with is my mental illness. And, in my opinion, it’s a good one.

Long Gone Johns

Looking at a specific event from when I lived at the Sumner House in Santa Cruz, I feel the need to share. I stole some blue long johns from a visitor who wanted to meet me.

My infamy, and Joyce Kim wouldn’t have been part of it until a year later, was developing. I was meeting Leila and during my stay at the Sumner House I was also to paint. The earliest sign that I was coming into people’s awareness was a visit by a guy who asked to use our laundry machines. When I came home all that remained from his task were his long johns. My housemates told me about the visit. I took the long johns to my room. When he returned for them, he asked if I took them and I told him no. He must have left me with a problem; I would eventually have to deal with him because I disrespected him and stole his long johns when really all he wanted was to meet me.

After many years and I had gotten used to the public knowledge and visits and such, he managed to embezzle money from me. Needless to say I learned what he really wanted was for me to pay him fifty dollars out of my pocket as reimbursement for his long gone johns.

Years again, I know that he hasn’t forgotten about me. I believe he settled in Covina where their water is blue.

Bottle of Sand

Drawing 1989

This and the next few posts are pictures of Art I did in 1989. I was taking lower division Art classes at Santa Barbara City College. There were a great many drawings and gauche paintings from that time. I am showing the few I was able to retain.