Stigma

I’m feeling self conscious about the following Blog post. I know that I have readers and they are not always staff. I think that admitting that I have a mental illness is a shock to readers who are not staff. I’m sorry; this might be a disconnect. The truth that I have been talking about mental illness the whole time is apparent to readers that have been with me for a while. There are lots of posts that deal with the “conscience” going back several years in Gevluef. Considering that you are a new reader, I apologize. There is a lot of awareness of mental illnesses in our communities; and that you are here, I am certain I completely understand the schizophrenia and schizo-affective mental illnesses. You are in good hands because in this Blog I explicitly tell the readers what exactly these are.

There is over three hundred fifty posts in Gevluef. I have accomplished much. I don’t want to lose a reader just because I have felt the need to distinguish myself from schizophrenia. It feels as if I am writing without a history. That’s not right; I have said enough for anyone to understand mental illness. If you don’t care about it, then resolve that you have had a chance to learn what exactly mental illness is.

Please have patience. This is a difficult subject. I have had some major changes recently. I am adjusting to a new circumstance. Though I am not feeling the historical perspective of Gevluef, I know that my ideas are good ones. It just takes time for the ideas to sink in.

If you are a family member please visit the Psychology Today article where the “Mental Health Problem” is discussed: mental-health-stigma

On Mood

My mental health is relative. The key word is relative. So, my housing establishes the mental health disposition. Thats because of the kind of mental illness I have; schizo-affective, I affect my community. How I am doing is relative. Doing good presently just means my community is doing good, and I am a function of that. If my housing changes, my mental health disposition would change resultantly. Relative to others. Clinically, the schizo-affective mental illness has a mood component. That is the relative factor I am trying to explain.

Wright Institute

A Sign Of The Times

I am experiencing the same sort of reality as everyone else. Graduating from high school in the second half of the eighties, community college, and University of California, I’m used to a much more private reality. The changes I’ve experienced since my younger days makes me think there is something wrong with me. I have no confidence. I’m constantly discerning my constituency as adversaries. And, I just have to realize that everyone is experiencing that. The times have changed.

There are three possible factors that could have influenced society. They are probably obvious. Starting in 1988 new born children are given a vaccine immunizing them against chicken pox ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chickenpox#Vaccine). The second possible factor responsible for changing society is the change in our cash currency. The money was changed in 1997. All the bills used to look like the one dollar bills we see today. The new bills are “golden.” My feeling is that society went from Capitalism to Socialism. To give you an idea of how wrong the new money is, let me just say, “you send the bill to congress.” I am referring to the disposition of the society based on the change in the common currency. The last factor to consider why there is a difference in our society from my youth is the internet.

I’m saying that I have a mental illness when in fact there is a major difference in society that has affected everyone. It is a sign of the times.

Notes on Gospel of John

Thirty-Five

I’ve had a mindful voice which I discovered was brought to the surface of things in the first chapter of John in the Bible. Tim was the witness, in that Tim witnessed the light. Here, the light he witnessed was within me. The word became God – thus I came into my own and was not received (John 1:10-11). Worst yet, the word became flesh. Love has completely played out. That I share the characteristics of John this past 20 years until Dec 2014, I know the circumstance has completely changed.

Zero-Seven

Now I am a witness of the light within Anthony, It is completely different. There is within Anthony a light which I am a witness. Thankfully the Gospel of John tells me I am preferred now before Anthony. His word is God. It is a new beginning. I am the him that John talked about. There is a brand new story to be told.

I am referring to the Xiphoid and the Gene within. Tim would be the witness to my Xiphoid now number 35. Very little of it remains; “It’s me when I be”. And, I am the witness for Anthony’s Xiphoid now number 07. He can stay.

I admire your Sobriety in any case. Alcohol will denature the Xiphoid.

Rods Phenomenon

The rod is a symptom of a Table. I had a Table. It was subtracted and the Rod phenomenon went away. All that’s left of the flying rod is the number 54. I learned about the rods on the History channel. I have written other posts here at Gevluef about a table. It is a reason to feel worried.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rod_(optics)

Comment: May 14, 2024: It is presumed that the DSM IV is a Rod. The date for that presumption is November 10th, 2023

Last word on Tim

Ghosting is the last word. The book and other criteria shows that Tim is stalking. The Public Defender confiscated his insight all about me; his book and other papers which he retained at his Ojai home were a dossier. In the weeks prior to his slaying, he provoked me by cremating and ghosting. I lost the support structure which would have been considered my support structure in death.

I complained about the stalking with staff; in that I was extremely uncomfortable. He was killed October 24, 2014. Stalking wasn’t the reason he was killed, even though he didn’t get help from staff for his schizophrenia, it was his ghosting.

So, after that I made a complete change in the camps. My composition has changed dramatically. My gene is now buried inside of a xiphoid; Tim was to me as I am now to Anthony. I have to be careful because Tim violated my privileges and immunities. I do not want bother Anthony. Nevertheless, I am becoming Anthony.

The major change once again is that my genes make up the core of Anthony’s xiphoid. The composition seems like I’ve completely changed camps.

Comment Nov. 20, 2015: This comment is to explain why Leonardo’s painting is shown here. Notice the angel above the figures? When Tim died, and I have already explained that his gene is in my xiphoid, when Tim died, I felt my sternum/ribs in the same formation as the figures; 1-11. What I am telling you is that Leonardo had cosmological ribs above his xiphoid and that his painting is expressing the fact that the linked person, whose gene it is, died. The law exists for the person whose gene it is, and goes out when that person dies.

Basically in the heavens there is a law and above that is the world!

Comment; November 4, 2024: I am struggling to understand this passage. As I read it, I need to tell the reader that Tim was ghosting me.

Trees

Ash Trees

JBL

Today I subtracted my JBL Speakers. October 2, 2014

Today I bought a PEPSI. I found out that doing so was a Staff Directive. I want to tell you that I had mixed emotions, but that my rational thinking told me PEPSI is more appropriate for me. I made such a huge mess with my bizarre thoughts all I can do is concede that I didn’t like PEPSI.

The truth is that days before this experience PEPSI arranged a donation and that PEPSI helped me in a big way. I found my owner; the owner of the JBL Speakers. Given many options as to what to do with them, the owner finely incinerated them in the yard. I’m a free person no more bound to Acoustic reflexes! The PEPSI money helped me to accomplish that. I’m so grateful to PEPSI for making that possible. Recall that acoustic enclosures are a probable place for an expected mother to put her baby. Those JBL’s were present when my mom was pregnant.

So if you like PEPSI and want to promote the brand of cola, pick up some used speakers and give a person their freedom. The staff told me finely, “you only shave once.” I knew what that meant because I remember how it felt when my JBL’s were incinerated.

If I hadn’t blown it with PEPSI, I might have gotten some sponsorship money; but they pulled out at the last minute. Keep in mind that bizarre thoughts, which I had with a PEPSI, are caused by a girl.

Choosing

I know my painting is a very beautiful work of Art; however, it is time for me to bring up an issue that is not that good. What happens is the extremely beautiful girls visit me. I am a guy; and, I appreciate that very much, but I want to discourage the visits. The girls that visit choose. It is stressful for me because I want them to choose RIGHT. That doesn’t always happen. I have written a worksheet about the Advance Directive in an effort to teach people that it helps girls who are crying. Search the site for “Advance Directive,” to see what I’ve written. I really like getting visits and perhaps it would be better if you want to visit that you’ve already chosen. There is no danger to the viewer of the painting and no danger to people visiting and reading this Blog. It just has to do with me personally. I’m a chooser. That is my issue. I’m glad you are interested in my work, but maybe it would be better to celebrate the painting’s beauty at a distance. I’m really sorry because a beautiful girl has a way of making me happy.