The 1990-1991 School year was a very productive time for me. I was meeting Leila Alpers, taking Philosophy courses and doing Art.
I’m taking Sonic Youth with me to College
Nick Sansano was telling Sonic Youth “no.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Sansano
https://gevluef.com/2015/11/04/locating-blog-content-goo/
I’ve been stretched over Elizabeth’s back. She tried to flip me over, but I was drunk and pretty much dead weight. I let out a humph. That was at the Sonic Youth concert where they were presenting Thurston’s Bridal with the album Goo.
I got to that point from leaving the crowd in front of the stage. I was feeling sick and thought I needed some air. As I left the stage area the crowd thinned out. I thought about what my sister had told me; that she liked getting felt up in crowds. I saw Elizabeth out in the open and went toward her. The crowd is a pushy contact sort of experience and I don’t think I adjusted to the lesser. So when she saw me coming towards her, she took my arm combatively and tried to flip me over her back.
I met Elizabeth again in Seattle, Washington at Community House Mental Health. We talked indirectly about the Goo concert. She knows me socially and knows a lot about medications. The doorman was also at Community House. His area of expertise was employment. He remembered me because I talked to him right before getting kicked out of the Goo concert.
The bouncer took me to the doorman by dragging me backwards by my heels. I said to him, “I have to find my sister. I can’t get kicked out. I have to find my sister!” The doorman was really nice to me.
“Why, what happened?” I asked. He replied, “You don’t know do you.”
Outside, I found the car and crawled underneath. I was scared and thought no one would find me there. When the concert ended, my party including my sister returned to the car. I heard her asking, “Where is Jeff?” I was underneath the car.
I got carsick on the way back to grandma’s house. I stopped listening to Sonic Youth and most Rock-n-Roll in general. That little escapade stopped me from listening to the Downsiders.
Just a little background about when this happened; this took place after my girlfriend cheated because my sister and her boyfriend were living in Santa Cruz. That was the summer of 1989. I began the Xiphoid and painted approximately a year and a half later. For most people though this time coincides with the publishing of Sonic Youth’s album Goo.
Comment: August 30th, 2024: I found my sister sufficiently on August 9th, 2024, I realized Kant’s Categorical Imperative. This is also expected to satisfy the Eye and Mind essay by Maurice Merlot Ponty, 1965.
I have given this post a Tag: Lithographic, Printmaking. Although there are four other posts on this subject here at Gevluef. Use Search, “Horsechestnut” to get the others. UC Santa Cruz has a lot of limestone for fine art printing. It is a major collection, and a reason to go to UC Santa Cruz – or not. They have a landfill.
I saved quite a lot of horsechestnut seeds from Seattle which I brought with me on my vacation to Taos and Chico California. During my vacation I determined the seeds would most benefit the lithography studio at UC Santa Cruz. At UCSC there is an excellent collection of lithographic limestone for printing Art. The infused fresh water would be good for them since they are fine porous limestone and they absorb water from the printing process. So, I mailed the horsechestnut seeds to the UCSC lithographic studio. That was the beginning of the problem.
It was the summer session at UCSC in 2001 and the Teacher’s Assistant received my collection marked as “ART SUPPLY.” He opened the package and the plastic tub containing the seeds. Then he said quietly, “I’ve been had!” He didn’t even look at the paperwork; he just threw everything away as if he wanted no part of it. There were over fifty seeds in that collection. That’s enough to make sweet water for lots of printmaking sessions. But the highly valued seeds went to the landfill instead. I have to make it clear to the reader that I intended the seed collection to be used at the lithography studio. When I am asked if I put the horsechestnut seeds in the landfill, I tell people, “I can’t do it.” If you are from Santa Cruz and blame me for this problem, I am sorry. I have had horsechestnut seed infused water in my body. I have some concerns about the landfill. I have to deal with the unexpected outcome of the landfill because the TA wasn’t interested in learning what the seeds were.
I imagine that the seeds have made the landfill fresh and sweet, and that the people in Santa Cruz have trouble with it leading to the body. They were thrown away in 2001, so there is an entire section of the landfill affected; but, that they were buried long ago. There are some things to consider about this problem, but you must think that our cash-bills have horsechestnut seed as a fundamental element in the cash design – perhaps it is the ink or the paper.
The TA eventually found out that something went wrong and learned about the seeds after the fact. He has visited Seattle Washington where the seeds grow in the wild. At this late date, I have had the expectation that he introduce horsechestnut seed into the lithography studio like I planned; but, I have not been satisfied as to any progress toward my original intention.
In 1992, I pee’d in a bottle. The medicine I was taking at the time was Stellazene. My pee was different than it usually is. Tim’s mom found the bottle and drank it. But that is not the only poison that she drank. She developed heart disease and never told her family that she drank fabric softener. She never said, “I drank fabric softener!” If she did say that to someone, they would understand why she had such difficulty with her heart. But drinking pee is not the problem with her death. The reason she died was a complication of her heart due to drinking fabric softener.
I am new to Beauty. My reader is already savvy to the Philosophy of Beauty. I want to say that the international policies of major world governments has significantly weakened democracy in the United States. The most important piece to my great puzzle since I started writing about phocomelia is Thomas Pynchon. This is a father for a child that has phocomelia. This father is stronger than his wife because he is a prolific author. This becomes important in the case of distinguishing Beauty for his family when I emphasize that the child with phocomelia is a female.
Were you more interested in the Philosophy of Beauty? Or perhaps you want to read more about my views of the weakening of democracy. Why are people weakening democracy is a question I would like to ask? Really, all I want to offer in this writing is that Thomas Pynchon is someone. He could answer these questions. The mother should not be a source of power in Thomas’ family. International policies are geared to emphasize females with a stronger mother family circumstance knowing that she damages her boyfriend’s ontological structure of self. Since a person with phocomelia has dominant genes from both parents, it appears that it is possible to literally break democracy towards the female side. If it were up to the female, she could have a dominant gene making the circumstance of weakness. We want democracy to work and so we need the males to be strong. Since Thomas Pynchon has written a lot of books, I can safely say that democracy is surviving in my world.
I was born again at Harbor Hills community church in 1994. I’m from Santa Cruz; and well, I did my thinking during an earthquake there. Everything mental is neatly tied into a setting of locality and community. Lately there is a trend where the psychiatrists are prescribing Latuda and if I were on it all that would change. I’m a little scared of it, but I want to decide not to take it for real reasons.
Kimberly, my girlfriend in 1994, recently got a computer with internet. It’s very therapeutic for her because she is disclosing and self-advocating. The computer is a perfect environment to learn and grow as a person; but from my perspective, I am always in trouble with staff. Staff hasn’t done anything to me, but I feel as if they want to hurt me as punishment. They are hypercritical of me and want to punish me quite generally. I would be thinking of taking the Latuda, but now that I know Kimberly is happy and working, I will endure the discomfort. I have always thought that being from Santa Cruz is fitting with my mental composition and that changing would make things much less than perfect. Kimberly is a major person and I would change honorably, there is just no need on her part for any of that.
I’m going to discuss other medication options with my psychiatrist. The adjustment I need to make is that Kimberly has a computer!
The reason my experiences in Santa Cruz is in terms of people is because I did Methamphetamine. The subjective reference of people lacks reason. Meth hurts the capacity to reason; that is reason with the favor of pure reason; thus people are the subjective.
Methamphetamine breaks up with reason. On meth a person must yield to the reasoning of the other person. Whose facts are they? For this reason the word on the street is that meth will cause you harm. Many drug users don’t do methamphetamine because they don’t want to get hurt. They say, “don’t do meth,” or, “meth is no good.”
I’m not cooking my friends. It is just the way I understand my past experiences in the wake of being a methamphetamine user.
The crudetah of all surgical procedures is the Rhinoplasty. It straightens a deviated septum.
A deviated septum affects the air passage ways in the nose. When they are not equal, lift is created like a wing on the septum. This lift releases a chemical in the brain that affects the outside of the cells.
This chemical conditions the cells in the body. It is conservative. After the Rhinoplasty there is no longer lift. The septum no longer conditions the cells and the condition improves. The cells communicate better because of this. It is like time works out. The Rhinoplasty is the best!
I began my second year at UC Santa Cruz with a new housemate.
The reason I had problems at that housing situation was because a neighbor girl had Phocomelia. The genetic disorder of having two dominant genes for conscience mars the body with flipper like hands and arms.
Lots of bad things happened while I was there; but, that one neighbor girl made sport of me. I was dominated over. It made me paranoid of my housemate, so I had to move away from him because I was so scared.
My second year at UCSC was ruined because of that situation.
In the 1990-1991 school year, I liked Michelle Spiegel. We were seeing each other at school and in the community. I devastated her by taking up with another girl. We liked each other and I didn’t wait until we got connected up. I cheated.
The worst part about it was that she is really pretty and the other girl wasn’t. What’s worst is that I now think I was related to the other girl. I really had a lot of trouble in that relationship. I have wanted to get in contact with Michelle, but what would I say, “I blew it. I’m sorry.” She is probably still mad at me. I am truly a cheater, and I haven’t had any good, reality checking relationships since. In an earlier post I wrote that I’m loosing my girlfriends. I think that loosing Michelle, and it was all my fault, was my biggest mistake. Michelle, I’m sorry. I’m lonely. I miss being connected to a girlfriend. I’ve been waiting for something real for 18 years. Please accept my apology.
45 PERCENT 