Getting Over Tim Yates

I’ve been reflecting on my recent history, the years from 2011 till 2015; and, I want to share my insight about why I had so much trouble. As of today, I have thinned out my Will in which I have gotten rid of the smoking guns that have caused problems for me. Since when though has matters of the Will been so dramatic that subtraction would relieve me of any further problems? And so, I have to resolve that my mental illness which was compounded by the association with Tim Yates, also mentally ill, has been the main fault. These problems are a manifestation of the situation. Again, I have experienced the pathology of the complex association with Tim.

One example, the most prominent is my having a xiphoid. Just that alone is cause for problems; see the Stone Roses. From there I have taken on a disparity of his issues making my association with Tim much more dependent. He had a chemical imbalance from Leila. He had Schizophrenia because of Chrissy. And, all of this about Tim exacerbated my experience and the experience of those I affected.

Just to say that Tim compounded my mental illness is insightful, but to realize that my problems were an expression of our relationship relieves me of the guilt I feel about the terrible things that have happened in the years preceding his death.

I am doing much better. The circumstances have changed a lot. One major difference I am able to notice is that people are more accepting of me. So, I am getting along better. I am not having problems any more. I am so thankful all I have to deal with is my mental illness. And, in my opinion, it’s a good one.

Bicycle

My father stole a bicycle when he was a boy. That affects me in the form of a cognitive imbalance. The matter is concerning a possibility. The badly needed capacity to reason is missing in my perspective. The person discerns the facts from someone else’s possibility. I can only hope that Spinoza provides the context when I am in need of support. Below is a bicycle. Although it is not the main part of the composition, the bicycle is present. Lately I’ve been thinking I would like to do a painting of a bicycle.

Blue Painting Completed

I am submitting my final result to Gevluef. There was a plan for additional layers of paint, for example a layer of wax medium, but due to the fact that the figure is a female and not me, I decided against it. This painting has a strong NARRATIVE. That I’m most proud of. It is also a good example of a picture in which a girl would use as a fire-wall; see Make Me A Picture.

Comment: This painting iterated when Joyce saw it on March 8, 2023

Broomcorn Brooms

It is a family directive for me to learn about brooms for sweeping, broom making and broom history. My local news paper VCStar has an article, Yardsmart: How early brooms developed from sorghum. And below is a picture from a blog where broom making is a family business.

Angie

I painted this picture after 46605. It has been called an, “independent.” I’m guessing that it is because the painting doesn’t have any remnants of previous paintings. It was painted pretty much at the time 46605 at UC Santa Cruz. It is not signed, so we will have to rely on this blog for its authenticity. Please keep in mind that I will not get any money directly for this art. We’re a poor shower. Though I may be entitled to some money, My sister might pay me a couple of thousand dollars for this work. Instead of getting frustrated over my lack of money, I want to let go and allow the viewer to develop this picture in a pleasing manner

Tim Yates And Legal Records

There are people who are reading to get information about Tim Yates Aka Hugh Farrell. For the serious reader, however, I would like to bring more than what I have written here. So, I would like to ask you to please contact the District Attorney’s Office for Ventura County. There you will discover that Tim possessed a fanatical interest in me. There is dramatic evidence that would support a premise that I was provoked to action, and from the evidence on record it may be understood that I had a reflex concerning his death. These are strong words. I would not say these things if I were not sure they could be supported with legal documentation.

Key Word: Justified

Pynchon In Public

I have to do some writing about Thomas Pynchon. I’m going to explore this website: Thomas Pynchon. Interestingly, I mused about this author years ago in a post called: Thomas Pynchon on my Gevluef blog where I establish that he is doing good relative to his family and Democracy.

I have much more to say about him. There may be a newer post around July 2024, where I make some notes to myself about the things he is dealing with.

Object Conscience

I have to allow some people to objectify their conscience.

Lately, I’ve been complaining because people recall and even learn about my one night stand with Joyce. This specific example is my life long sentence; even though she over-rided my decision. “It’s more of a legend than a fact.” Instead of complaining, I have to open up for these people who have dominant consciences’ because they are thinking about me in a way that is personal to them; it’s their thoughts that they are forming in an effort to determine their personal feelings. Though I am sympathetic, I shouldn’t take it personally. That I have feelings contrarily to this infamy doesn’t matter and might make things worse. I especially want patience with those people who want to objectify their conscience.

Are you interested in this topic. My blog covers the topic of the conscience extensively. If you are able to distinguish between the two traits of the conscience, this topic is perfect. The Conscience Page is also at the top of the home page as a menu item. This collection of posts is my strongest theme in Gevluef. I have looked at the Wikipedia page for Conscience, but here the link is mostly for me to read.