Getting Over Tim Yates

I’ve been reflecting on my recent history, the years from 2011 till 2015; and, I want to share my insight about why I had so much trouble. As of today, I have thinned out my Will in which I have gotten rid of the smoking guns that have caused problems for me. Since when though has matters of the Will been so dramatic that subtraction would relieve me of any further problems? And so, I have to resolve that my mental illness which was compounded by the association with Tim Yates, also mentally ill, has been the main fault. These problems are a manifestation of the situation. Again, I have experienced the pathology of the complex association with Tim.

One example, the most prominent is my having a xiphoid. Just that alone is cause for problems; see the Stone Roses. From there I have taken on a disparity of his issues making my association with Tim much more dependent. He had a chemical imbalance from Leila. He had Schizophrenia because of Chrissy. And, all of this about Tim exacerbated my experience and the experience of those I affected.

Just to say that Tim compounded my mental illness is insightful, but to realize that my problems were an expression of our relationship relieves me of the guilt I feel about the terrible things that have happened in the years preceding his death.

I am doing much better. The circumstances have changed a lot. One major difference I am able to notice is that people are more accepting of me. So, I am getting along better. I am not having problems any more. I am so thankful all I have to deal with is my mental illness. And, in my opinion, it’s a good one.

Bicycle

My father stole a bicycle when he was a boy. That affects me in the form of a cognitive imbalance. The matter is concerning a possibility. The badly needed capacity to reason is missing in my perspective. The person discerns the facts from someone else’s possibility. I can only hope that Spinoza provides the context when I am in need of support. Below is a bicycle. Although it is not the main part of the composition, the bicycle is present. Lately I’ve been thinking I would like to do a painting of a bicycle.

Broomcorn Brooms

It is a family directive for me to learn about brooms for sweeping, broom making and broom history. My local news paper VCStar has an article, Yardsmart: How early brooms developed from sorghum. And below is a picture from a blog where broom making is a family business.

Pynchon In Public

I have to do some writing about Thomas Pynchon. I’m going to explore this website: Thomas Pynchon. Interestingly, I mused about this author years ago in a post called: Thomas Pynchon on my Gevluef blog where I establish that he is doing good relative to his family and Democracy.

I have much more to say about him. There may be a newer post around July 2024, where I make some notes to myself about the things he is dealing with.

Golden Girls TV Show

This show illustrates all my faults prior to and before I painted in 1991. Golden Girls is like my adversary for my childhood, everything I did wrong. Because these ladies complained about me all the time they got the attention of a cemetery worker who cremated Thomas Jefferson on October 19, 1991 as punishment for my childhood crimes. The pictures following this post are shortcuts for some of the difficulties the golden girls had with me and brought to the show. They do not like me. And it is with much enmity that I have decided to include them in my blog called Gevluef. Here is the fact of the October date:

Comment: I have changed the date that Thomas Jefferson’s service ended. This comment is post Blue Painting; after February 2016. And, I have corrected the date from the incorrect November to October.

Comment: Betty White died December 31, 2021 at the age of 99.

Maurice Merleau-Ponty

Eye and Mind

An older post about Maurice-Merleau on Gevluef

Module of Posts

The following ten posts make up a module. There is an integral to be made. The painting “46605,” expresses what the integral is. Though this sounds like science, it is Art. The last post in this module is Michael Heizer; July 12, 2015.

Stigma

I’m feeling self conscious about the following Blog post. I know that I have readers and they are not always staff. I think that admitting that I have a mental illness is a shock to readers who are not staff. I’m sorry; this might be a disconnect. The truth that I have been talking about mental illness the whole time is apparent to readers that have been with me for a while. There are lots of posts that deal with the “conscience” going back several years in Gevluef. Considering that you are a new reader, I apologize. There is a lot of awareness of mental illnesses in our communities; and that you are here, I am certain I completely understand the schizophrenia and schizo-affective mental illnesses. You are in good hands because in this Blog I explicitly tell the readers what exactly these are.

There is over three hundred fifty posts in Gevluef. I have accomplished much. I don’t want to lose a reader just because I have felt the need to distinguish myself from schizophrenia. It feels as if I am writing without a history. That’s not right; I have said enough for anyone to understand mental illness. If you don’t care about it, then resolve that you have had a chance to learn what exactly mental illness is.

Please have patience. This is a difficult subject. I have had some major changes recently. I am adjusting to a new circumstance. Though I am not feeling the historical perspective of Gevluef, I know that my ideas are good ones. It just takes time for the ideas to sink in.

If you are a family member please visit the Psychology Today article where the “Mental Health Problem” is discussed: mental-health-stigma