The Laurel House

Progress Place umbrella of services included a transitional house for clients until they get independent housing: Laurel House at 3133 Laurel Street in Napa California. I stayed there a few months in 1995. What that house has is an old water softener system that isn’t being used. The staff knows about this feature because in the garage there is six fifty pound bags of rock salt from when the system was working. The rock salt is a remnant collecting dust and cobwebs. I think I knew about that when I was there; but, I surely didn’t forget it for six years after. Laurel House made a big impression on me. And, I really appreciate getting to stay. Thank you Laurel House!

Victim of Stalking

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What it looks like to staff that sees me is “A Beautiful Mind;” but, I now know that I have the symptoms of a victim of stalking. There is another movie that tells me more clearly that I’m being stalked: “There’s Something About Mary.”

It just hit me over the head the other movie was so obvious. At the end of the movie, there is a song that says my friends tell me to quit my complaining. I would like help. By the time “A Beautiful Mind” has a turn, it’s too late. Yet, I would like to ask Staff to get some training to deal with me as a victim of stalking. Right now, they are treating for a mental illness, and I am saying I need a little more support around my symptoms because I’m being stalked. A little training on the subject will confirm that I am having symptoms of being stalked. So please, help me by understanding the pathology of the crime. At the very least, if you are working with me, could you please see the movie: “There’s Something About Mary.”

If I’m supposed to be a victim of Stalking, what are my symptoms?

Beauty is an addiction

I’m complaining about someone that hasn’t been a part of my life in twenty years.
In my social contacts, the other person implicitly dictates to me the subjects to be talked about.
People involved with me are choosing left.
Many facts and issues I address are denied as not being true or not based in reality.
I can’t engage in small talk.
Bodies having names correlating to me are being cremated.

This Blog Has

This blog has a lot of information about Mental Illness. The main ideas, which are my theories, and that explain the two major Mental Disorders of Schizophrenia and Schizo-affective are mentioned in here from the keyword “conscience.” If you are only interested in learning about these two disorders try searching with that key word. From the list of posts that result, use Ctrl-Click to open the post in a new tab.

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Someone has edited the Wikipedia page for Leibniz with an emphasis on cause. Please try to remember that God wants to exist. The cause that is well treated in the Wikipedia page works out from talking; particularly for a person with a monad. They are rare and very difficult to make. Perhaps the person who brought the issue to Wikipedia will get one and improve the page with content emphasizing that Leibniz had a mound on the roof of his mouth.

Comment January 18, 2023: The first appearance of the directive for philosophy mentioned here is with Edmund Husserl.

The Case Manager

I gave my consent for something while meeting with my case manager and I won’t ever again: to whom and for what I’ll never know. But if you are an office person you will want to know what happened; or more importantly, how to get someone’s consent similarly.

I was in a one-on-one with my case manager. It was my time to talk with him. We were talking. The desk phone rang and I said, “You can get that.” He answered the phone and spoke briefly about a form being filed after which we resumed our conversation.

I was uncomfortable with the interruption. Later, I realized that I had given my consent for something. If nothing else, I felt cheated out of my one-on-one time. I won’t ever give my consent to that kind of interruption again. I remembered that as one stunt a person could pull off if they wanted permission of some kind from someone they meet in the office. But my advice is to foster an open and honest relationship with your constituency.

Retrospective Conscience

I’ve been thinking about the therapeutic process. Most of the stuff out there is psychoanalysis. Freud must have been concerned with the twenty-second chromosome. Mostly in the case for the dominant trait for conscience as it is passed on from the mother. What I think might not agree with what I’ve said about Freud in the past, but my mom didn’t have a dominant gene. She was recessive in chromosome number 22. That means I might not be the most ideal patient for psychoanalysis.

Now there is a female with phocomelia where I am particularly interesting. The cause of phocomelia is when a child inherits two dominant genes for conscience; one from each parent. This genetic disposition is so assertive that it mars the body, and thus the deformity of the hands and arms. Because this dominant-dominant trait of the twenty-second chromosome is so assertive those babies that do survive are most often of the blood-type AB. There is a Schizophrenia or Schizo-affective Mental Illness in this story, but I’m trying to make a case for psychoanalysis. I wouldn’t say that much about my mother like Freud did with many of the people he studied, but everything pretty much revolves around Leila. This is a no brainer for me, but for a therapist, it is only as easy as finding the language to clinically express my condition. It is not an inheritance issue. In fact I did not inherit a dominant gene for conscience from either parent; I’m recessive like my mom. That is why I ultimately believe that I’m Schizo-affective. At the very least I can say that I have a diagnosis. It is a good start since I am in therapy and the clinician has to start somewhere.

I started out saying I’m not predisposed for psychoanalysis, but on further consideration I realize that having a mental health diagnosis is an awfully good start.

In the blog I have written a lot about the conscience and that is why I have called this a retrospective

Before Life On Mars

I must tell you there are other elements in the human composition that require our attention before we muse about the life on Mars. There are recent developments in medicine making young people immune to Chicken Pox. As early as 1988, babies have been immunized. They are more psychologically sound than people who have had them. Also, we must consider that the 22^nd chromosome is affected by both the Internet and global warming. This chromosome is responsible for our conscience. It is the most troublesome because of it’s capacity to “Be.” Both of these elements could contribute to our feelings of well-being sociologically. And when I begin to believe that there is life on Mars, I recall these important elements; and, I know that God has very much more to do with them.

Harbor View Hospital

Harbor View Hospital in Seattle Washington has a helicopter pad on the back patio. There is a large grassy area and a long walkway to it in which it is accessible to the public. The pad itself is a raised platform with the actual ground some four feet below. I spent a few hours there one night.

My experience there was that something happened to my left eye. When I was there a helicopter landed. I was lying face down on the ground. The helicopter got closer and closer as it was landing. I knew that it would land and that I was safe; but the stress from the landing was very intense. Just before it touched down and the stress was the worst, my left eye flooded with light. My eyes were shut, but this light was bright and filled my entire eye. I recalled getting punched in the nose. The light from that time was small and concentrated. This was more of an intuitive light; a light that was part of my mind. It went out.

I think about that time at the helicopter pad a lot; and, I wish someday I could return and lay there for another landing experience. I would sincerely like for the light in my other eye to go out too.

High School Diploma

My senior year at Thousand Oaks High School was not without it’s problems. Mr. Chevalier’s English class was after lunch. I ditched his class a lot. As a result of the absences I failed senior English. I was told I would not graduate college prep curriculum and because of my electives I was still going to graduate.

On graduation day I attended the exercises. I did not get a diploma. A teacher directed me to the office where I was to report my problem. There a counselor quickly wrote my name with a sharpie pen on a gold sheet of paper. It was a certificate of some kind. I could not read it because something was wrong. No other students were there and I didn’t see any other diplomas. Getting that certificate didn’t feel like graduating, and I didn’t go to any graduation parties. I really felt left out.

If you want to know what the trouble was try reading One Vote. It is the story about my sophomore year student government experience.

Summer 2001

In May 2001 I left Seattle in pursuit of Leila to New Mexico. She had divorced her husband Steve in San Francisco for me. She came to Seattle and couldn’t confront me on the basis that it was too well. She asked the staff at Community House where I most wanted to go and went there instead; that was Taos New Mexico. When I heard she had left, I went too. We had parallel experiences. Among the many strange events in Taos, we both spent a night in jail. After Taos, we went to Chico California.

I lost my legs during the vacation in Taos and Chico. In July I decided that Leila was a dead end, I would return to Seattle and rejoin the Community House Mental Health place. I rode Greyhound. I stayed from the early hours till day time at the Greyhound station in Seattle. By the time I left the station my legs were swelled up like balloons. I walked on them. Everyone was rushing around talking fast and worried. When I noticed my legs, I wanted to hide. That day I fell asleep in a ditch and was found by Police, Fire, and Ambulance. I was taken to the hospital emergency room. I was told I would need an IV to remedy the swelling. Still groggy, I asked for a girl to administer it. The next day I woke up in the hospital’s safe Unit. I looked over myself down toward my legs. They were normal. That day I was transferred to a facility where I would stay until November – through the September 11^th disaster. My legs have never swelled again since. Well that might not be entirely true, I might have a little swollen mound on my right leg. It is normal for me now, but I think it developed as a remnant from my experience returning to Seattle. Now, I think of it as an organ.

Leila has always been close to me in heart and mind. That vacation was the beginning of a new face of cooperation between us. She now lives in Beverly Hills California and probably recalls our vacation as vividly as I do.